We all enter into marriage with lofty expectations and dreams. That’s the easy part. The hard part is working day in and day out to keep your marriage dreams alive. We have all heard thousands of time that it is important to set goals.
We’ve heard the statistics about how people who set goals are far more likely to achieve them then the people who don’t. So what do we do? We sit down and we start to set some goals. We set goals for our career. We set goals for our kids we, We set goals for our finances. But what about marriage? Have you and your spouse ever sat down together and talked about the dreams and goals that you have? And if you have, how long ago has it been?
Maybe when you first got married you talked about some goals but when did you last revisit those? Do you still talk about those goals and dreams or have they just kinda fallen along the waste side as you plug away at the daily grind of life?
Whatever the case may be it’s time to take the time and get some marriage goals written down. So here are a few steps to help you get the ball rolling.
1. Get together as a couple and pray. God want’s to be included in your dream. His dream for you is big and amazing. It’s much better than anything you can come up with on your own… so, before you start going after your goals and dreams spend a couple of weeks praying and seeking God for direction together.
Let God know you want what He wants…
Really it comes down to trust. Do you trust that if you give God your life he will take care of you?
The bible says in Psalm 37:5 “Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
We’re told to trust God, and let him give you the desires of your heart. Really God knows what you want better than you do.If you will offer your goals and dreams to God and invite him into this part of your life, He will make sure you don’t go chasing after the wrong stuff.
After you seek God the next step is
2. Brainstorm. Marriage is a team sport. If you try play it as an individual you’ll never play at your best. It’s in your best interrest to let the other players on the team have a say in what is going on.
Major companies and organizations understand the power of brainstorming. When you brainstorm together you will begin to see things with a broader scope. It may sound intimidating but it’s really not that difficult.
You can start off by simply throwing out the question: “Wouldn’t it be nice if we________?” And then see where that begins to take you. These can be big picture, small picture, long term, short term… Just start talking. By brainstorming you will create an atmosphere in your marriage where you and your spouse both feel free to talk about your dreams and desires.
As you talk…
3. Start writing stuff down. Remember the scripture in Habakuk 2:2 “Write the vision. Make it clear on tablets so that anyone can read it quickly.
Getting your goals on paper helps to clarify vision.
On your list, include target dates for accomplishing each one, and put the list where you will see it often… on your desk or wall, in your car, or attached to your bathroom mirror.
4. Be specific. Don’t just say we want to go on a dream vacation someday… Let’s get specific. We want to go _________ and we want to go in ___________ years.
If you want to spend more time together as a couple figure out a way to do so. Maybe you established specific times to be together like lunch every Tuesday and a monthly night out that you actually plan in advance and put on the calendar.
Don’t just come up with the goal, come up with some steps you can start to take now to help you start heading toward that goal.
5. Celebrate The Victories. As you move ahead, don’t forget to review periodically what you’ve achieved. When you reach milestones along the way, enjoy it and celebrate it.
It’s so awesome looking back and seeing what God has done each and every year. I know in me and Trudi’s life anytime we have set a goal and start going after it with prayer and with our practical abilities we always see those goals accomplished.
Proverbs 16:9 says “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps”. Obviously, no one has a complete picture of God’s will for life. It’s a day-to-day process, but God promises us guidance to keep us on track if we’re willing to listen.
The prerequisite to receiving God’s guidance is the willingness to accept it. Proverbs 16:3 says “Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established”
I pray that God blesses you and your spouse as you commit your goals and dreams to him.
– Ken & Trudi